Prayer is conversation with God, and our relationship with Him is deeper or more shallow depending on how much we talk with Him. My conversations with God (or my relationship with God) has had seasons of depth and shallowness.  Many times, the things around me have taken my attention. I have ignored the things that bothered my heart. For example, if someone hurt me, I would just reason through it and try to forget it. Instead of bringing it to God, the issues would get buried in my heart; bitterness would grow and I would feel heavy. Another example are soft little reminders about friends' hardships...(I will resist the urge to make myself look good)... The truth is I have ignored many reminders to pray for my friends.

I believe that we are all called to pray and cover each other in prayer. I also believe that prayer can change so much around us and around the people we know; that is, if we all regularly sought God in humility. I know many of us want to pray more and have a deeper relationship with God. I don't know the answer to why or how to change this. But I think an understanding of God and what prayer is about would give us an excitement and passion to pray regularly.

A book I've been reading, called Intercessory Prayer by Dutch Sheets, has been giving me a lot of motivation in coming to God in prayer. This is the first blog entry of a PRAYER SERIES that I'd like to do.  I will be sharing a few things from the book and other good things. I do not want to start too much now, but I want to ask 1 thing to start you thinking about prayer:

WHAT DID CHRIST DO ON THE CROSS?

You might think this is a dumb question, but let's honestly think about this. We often just say, "Jesus died for our sins", but think about the implications of us being able to come to the Father. I believe this simple question and the answer will inspire you to pray. Let's get into it in the next prayer series entry (it can get long). For now, read Genesis (Adam and Eve) and ask God for insight and revelation into this question. 

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Our house is kind of far from the centre of Kusadasi, or "centrum" as it's called in Turkish. A close family friend brought it to our attention that getting out is so important for our bodies. We were in fact staying home whole days at a time and were starting to feel a bit unhealthy. So we started making attempts to get out more...

Yesterday morning was one such attempt for me. As my husband went to a bible study with some men, I had a chance to catch a ride to centrum and have some much needed alone time outside. As you can see in the pictures, Kusadasi is a great place to wander and explore, especially during this time, when the cruise ships are not docking in as much and the streets are more quiet. There is one Starbucks located right at the docking area. I only really wanted to sit and enjoy the view and didn't want a fancy drink so I got a plain earl grey tea with warm milk and brown sugar inside...just what I needed...in fact, earl grey tea is one of my comfort drinks from back home in Canada. My friend Michelle and I used to order a Tim Horton's earl grey (with 2 milks and 1 sugar) and have some really good fellowship and prayer times. In Turkey, the tea is made with really strong loose leaves. Actually my husband and I had it out on our porch this evening (another one of our attempts to get out). I put milk and honey in a regular tea cup, while my husband had his tea in a traditional turkish cup.

Anyways, back to my morning at Starbucks and Kusadasi "centrum"...

I love being in "centrum". And I love wandering. There was no cruise ship arrivals this morning so it was especially empty on the dock. After getting a tea, I went up to the second floor of Starbucks as usual...also empty...a perfect morning for some prayer and quality time with God...

I am realizing a pattern lately. A pattern that I have realized time and time again. When I don't spend time with God and reading His Word on a regular basis, life gets so dry and a pointless feeling grows in my heart until I break. Time and time again, God has brought me to this breaking point and I get so disappointed in myself when it happens. I have experienced so much blessing and touches from God in my life that when I become unfaithful to Him (in talking to Him) and focusing on myself and this life, I get this guilty feeling... I know it's not from God...God is gentle and I know His voice. But it's hard to humble yourself, admitting you're not perfect, that you can't do it right all the time. Beating yourself up over mistakes is like saying "I should be perfect now and I don't need God's continued grace in my life..." It's not true..The letter to the Galatians always reminds me about not depending on my own righteousness, and to walk in His grace (Galatians 3:1-5)

Lately, however, I have been reading this book on prayer and it is making me understand so much more about God and our identity in Him. I have read other books on prayer in the past, but this one is deep! It's called Intercessory Prayer by Dutch Sheets... STAY TUNED... I will be sharing some awesome prayer insights and hopefully getting you excited about the amazing work God has done and what prayer is all about...

I think we get too comfortable a lot of the times...focusing on the things around us, what we need to get done that day, or in the near future..I don't think we spend enough time worshiping God. As we start to understand who God is, and what our part is in His kingdom, I believe we would become more faithful to our relationship with God (by that I mean speaking to Him more in prayer, seeking Him first in our lives), and we would start to see some really amazing things happen in this world...

This is something I actually wrote a while ago and not while in Turkey. But I wanted to share it with you all because it's a good eye opener to how precious life is and about sharing what Jesus did for us with other people...

Reflections

I need to write a few things down before I forget what God has spoken to me about.  Recently, God has awakened me to life. He has shown me the reality of life, and how precious our souls are to Him.  Unfortunately, it took a lost life to get the point across. Now, my friend Tammy is gone, she was only 21. It seems surreal to me.  When I first heard, I was speechless- I couldn't grasp it with my mind. I lived right beside her my whole first year of university, and now she's gone; I'll never see her again. My soul was aching and eventually I broke down into an agonizing sob. I couldn't help but think of how the Lord rejoices over just one saved soul, and how absolutely heart broken he must be over the loss of a potential princess.  I asked God for forgiveness for not sharing the message of what His Son has done for me.  I know He has forgiven me, but I need to continue to forgive myself for not listening to His voice leading me to her.

 Tammy was a somewhat quiet girl.  She was one of those girls who were always in deep thought.  She was smart, and seemed like she didn't want to listen to anybody, like she already had her opinions formulated in her mind.  Maybe that's why I struggled so much with listening to God's still, small voice telling me to spend time with her – maybe it would have been a waste of time, you know? Wow. It sounds so selfish when I put it into words… I wish I had spent more time with her; I wish I had told her.

I can't totally express this odd feeling.  I feel ashamed at how often we keep God to ourselves, when you can take a look around and see how much those around us need Him.  There is such a longing for acceptance, for love – an unconditional love.  Why are we so timid to share our faith in Jesus Christ yet so easily share other excitements in our lives?  I was given opportunities to hang out with Tammy and I was equipped to share the truth of what Christ had done for me, for you, and for her.  I wish I had acted on those opportunities.

Tammy may have somehow heard the truth of what Christ had done, accepted that truth, and gave her life to Him on her death bed…but I'll only know when I get to heaven.  She may be there enjoying His presence, or she may be elsewhere weeping, asking me why I didn't tell her the truth of His love.  I never gave her the chance to make a choice to either reject the truth or accept it.

Although it may be difficult to share Jesus with others it's only a momentary struggle.  We are all called to share the Good News of eternal life through Jesus Christ.  I know there is extreme power in the name of Jesus, and that this world will do what it can to destroy it.  But Christ has called us to suffer with Him, and to not be ashamed of Him (Mark 8:38, Luke 9:26, Romans 1:16, Timothy 1:7-8).  Believe it or not, it's exciting to boast in the Lord, even though people may reject you.  In fact, Jesus said that most people will reject you – they rejected Him (John 15:18-20).  Think of it this way: Souls are eternal, rejection isn't.  Our God will not reject us; He gave His eternal life once and for all. We need to tell people regardless of rejection… it's what God has chosen you to do. Now is the time He chose you for…Follow Jesus – let Him make you fishers of men (Mark 1:16-18).